U St Warriors

Winterhaven Saved
But the victory was far from flawless

Kalarel’s plan to summon the Demon Lord Orcus was stopped just in time, and the town of Winterhaven has been saved.

The adventurers located a temple deep within the Keep on the Shadowfell, and discovered a most unholy ritual. Blood flowed from all four corners of the room into a central pit, and the room was filled with vampires, shades, beserkers and an Underpriest of Orcus. They were able to defeat Kalarel’s rear guard with only a few close calls, as adventurers were knocked unconscious, and noticed chanting coming from the pit.

Four massive bloody chains descended down into the hole, hanging for 50 feet until they reached a pool of blood. The adventurers attempted to slide down the chains, but Quareen and Domokos failed, and fell the full 50 feet.

Once they reached the bottom, they faced skeletons, a shallowgrave wight, The Thing in the Portal and Kalarel himself. Most of the skeletons were dispatched quickly, but the adventurers soon learned that once close to the shallowgrave wight, undead minions are unable to remain dead. The adventurers dispatched the wight, and began to focus their attacks on Kalarel. Meanwhile, The Thing in the Portal used its demonic claws to damage the adventurers, and continued to focus its unholy energies on healing Kalarel. As the party neared death, with most of its healing surges exhausted, they were able to kill Kalarel, and successfully closed the portal. However, the battle was not without its costs. Soon after failing to slide down the chain, Quareen was attacked by Kalarel’s Rod of Ruin and killed, decimated by Kalarel’s critical hit.

The town of Winterhaven is saved, and the adventurers found much treasure deep within the Keep on the Shadowfell. They should return to town to claim their reward, and discover what new adventures await them in the future.

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A New Adventure
The Mayor of Winterhaven offers an intriguing reward..

The adventurers recollect after slaying Kalarel; wearied and beaten, but victorious. Tromed lifts his weighty mace and smashes it down through Quareen’s arm to sever his hand, allowing the adventurers to raise the dead Quareen in Winterhaven.

Upon return to the town of Winterhaven, the adventurers are greeted with warm welcome. Wine, ale, mead, and grain alcohol flow freely, as the townsfolk lavish praise and free drinks upon the victorious adventurers. The next day everyone wakes up hungover as shit.

The Mayor of Winterhaven rewards the adventurers with an ancient scroll in an undecipherable script. He warns them that possessing the scroll led to his adventuring party continually being challenged by enemies, trying to possess the scroll. The scroll must be of great value, somehow, but the Mayor was not interested in it, having lost many dear friends to the scroll’s effect.

The adventurers decrypt the scroll, with the help of Valthrun the Prescient. The scroll tells of a great treasure to be found in the city of Whitefall. Without delay, the adventurers pack up and depart to search for the treasure.

One day’s travel out from Whitefall, the adventurers are set upon by a band of slavers. Tromed, on night watch, is lax in his duty, and fails to notice the slavers until they are immediately upon the adventurers’ camp. In battle, The Nameless One warps the fabric of reality to teleport himself and Tromed to subsequent enemies, slaying each in turn. However, Quareen is knocked unconscious and reaches the brink of death before being stabilized by Zylarra. The adventurers fight off the slavers, lastly slaying their trained attack dog.

As the adventurers shake off the battle, and try to understand Tromed’s remarkably inept night-watch (I mean, come on, we give you one job), they wonder what they will find tomorrow in the city of Whitefall.

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Entering Whitefall
The slums are troubled; plague, disappearances and death.

The adventurers finish their travel to Whitefall and decide to enter the Merchant District. As they approach the wall, they notice armed guards regularly patrolling the city’s battlements. The gates of the Merchant District are locked, and the adventurers request admittance from the guards. The adventurers learn that the guards are mercenaries and that the Merchant District is closed to anyone not vouched for by a merchant within. The adventurers ponder the logic of this entry requirement, and wonder how they can possibly obtain a voucher without being able to meet with any merchants.

Thwarted at their first entry point, the adventurers decide to enter the Whitefall Slums. The adventurers are allowed to enter by the volunteer guards at the gate, on the condition that they hurt no one, or face the harsh justice of the slums.

Upon entry, the adventurers decide to head for the The Dirty Goblet, the only inn in the district. On their way, they notice that a general malaise affects the citizens, who seem downtrodden, sick, and hungry. They are approached by a Tom the Urchin, who offers to help them around town for a copper a day and all the alcohol he can drink.

At the Dirty Goblet, the adventurers meet Imeem, Sergeant Jenkins and Roland Firebeard. Imeem asks the adventurers to assist him in cleansing the Temple of Bahamut in Whitefall. (A Light in the Darkness) Jenkins enlists their help finding a murderer who preys on beggars down on Fleet Street, by the river. (Demon of Fleet Street) He also informs them that a plague has beset the slums, and that is one reason the other districts do not allow entry.

The adventurers decide to investigate the murder, and Jenkins brings them to a refuse pile, which contains the bones of the most recent victim. The bones are picked clean, and Shallton notices small teeth marks. The adventurers are not able to identify the marks, so they head down to Fleet Street to ask around. There, they talk to Old Flem a fortuneteller, who offers to divine the spirits for a bit of copper. She tells them that they will live long and happy lives, and be very rich. Unsatisfied with her answers, the adventurers intimidate her and learn that her son was attacked by a flying demon. He refuses to come out of his shed and the adventurers decide to question him.

Sean tells them of a flying demon that attacked him in the night. He took off running and was able to escape, but suffered a nasty leg bite. The bite marks matched those on the bones. After listening to his story, the adventurers set off to ask Imeem if he has any knowledge or would be able to offer aid to help them in this quest. He refuses, saying he needs to focus on rebuilding the Temple of Bahamut.

The adventurers decide to set a trap for the demon, and pay Tom the Urchin to drink himself to sleep in the streets. They set up on top of or inside buildings surrounding the sleeping Tom, and plan to ambush the demon when it attempts to feed. Quareen and Domokos see a flying silhouette against the moon, and it swoops lower and lower as it notices the sleeping urchin. When it lands, Shallton uses Dimension Swap to teleport Tom out of harms way and take his place in the battle. The demon is surprised, and Tromed and The Nameless One engage the demon while Domokos and Quareen blast it from above. To the adventurers surprise, the demon begins to split, and generates duplicates of itself. When they attack the original, instead of taking damage, it somehow redirects the force to one of its duplicates. Soon, The Nameless One is knocked unconcious, and Quareen teleports down from the roof to bring him back into the fight. Just as the adventurers are finally killing duplicates, the original demon flies away, and the duplicates disappear, unable to remain distant from their creator.

Suddenly, a group of wererats, supported by numerous other rodents, attack the adventurers and try to drag them back into the sewers. The adventurers successfully fight off the rats, but not before The Nameless One succumbs to some sort of disease.

Encounter Summary
Experience: 150

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To Bahamut's Temple
A demon awaits the adventurers in the top of Bahamut's temple

The adventurers woke up in the best room 5 copper can buy at The Dirty Goblet (it had a lock), and felt well rested after the beating they took from the demon. They immediately went downstairs to seek out Imeem the travelling monk for any insight he may have about the multiplying demon. Upon hearing about the appearance and fighting tactics of the demon, Imeem informs the adventurers that it is a Dingbat. Imeem is quite distressed that the Dunkaroo has shacked up in the Temple of the Platinum Dragon, and recruits the adventurers to cleanse the tower, promising them any treasure that they may find. And so, the brave warriors set out to smite the Dumbledore at the tower’s peak and claim their rewards.

The adventurers were greeted at the entrance of the temple by two guards in front of an enormous stone blocking the main doorway. The guards refuse to open the doors of the temple. Many years ago, the slums were overrun with Drakes. The townsfolk were able to herd the Drakes into the temple, barricade the door, and no one has ever entered since. However, with Chaedi’s excellent diplomatic skills, the team is not only able to enter the temple, but also to exit if they use the secret knock on the door.

As the adventurers venture into the temple, they find a cathedral-like space as dark as the depths of Lord Orcus’ portal. Quareenlights up the grand space with his wand and looming ahead the party sees six drake creatures: 3 acid-spitting drakes , a rage drake, a swarm of tiny gnat-like drakes, and a flying killer drake. Tromed is immediately covered in acid spit, making the temple smell of burning hair. The battle is fierce! Loki and Tromed overpower the rage drake and render its attacks ineffective; Zylarratakes a barrage of fly-by attacks from the killer drake and is knocked prone by the drake swarm; and Quareen retreats, sending magic missiles whizzing everywhere. Imeem engages the acid drakes, using his drunken monkey and dragon tail attacks, and Chaedi crucially heals everyone. When all other enemies are dead, the warriors converge on the killer drake and rid the temple of his lizardy spirit.

Encounter Summary
Experience: 150

Following the battle, Imeem encourages everyone to kneel at the altar and pray to Bahamut. In doing so, the party feels themselves getting stronger from the silver dragon’s god-like powers. Only Loki respectfully declines, for he will pray to none other than Allah. The adventurers look around and see two staircases, one to the basement and one to the tower. They decide to first explore the basement in hope that they may find treasure to help them defeat the Dipshit upstairs.

In the basement, lie mysterious sarcophagi lining the basement walls and a maze of tunnels connecting the basement rooms. In the far room, the adventurers discover a Kruthik hive lord, and as they prepare to attack, Kruthik minions emerge from the tunnels and flank the warriors. The hive lord’s flaming attack is powerful and the Kruthiks are numerous. The party is quickly dazed, weakened, slowed, and generally overwhelmed. Just as all seems lost, Quareen summons Ҫtaicey, his trusty fire orb, and the tide of the battle begins to shift. The warriors muster the strength to defeat the smaller kruthiks and surround the hive lord in the doorway to the back room. As the warriors pummel the hive lord, Tromed is absolutely incapable of saving himself from being slow, week, blind, deaf and dumb. When the battle is finally over, and everyone recovers, Tromed is critically saved!

Encounter Summary
Experience: 175
Treasure:

  • Duelist’s Dagger
  • Iron Armbands of Power
  • Ivory Statue of a Knight (340 gp)
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A mountainous heap of bat guano
Wherein we make some unexpected new friends...

ON THIS ELEVENTY-FIRST DAY OF THE MONTH OF SPLINGVEMBER

IN THE YEAR OF SIXTEEN HUNDREDS AND FIFTY AFTER THE DEMISE OF THE GLORIOUS REALM OF ARMOR

A LOG OF THE ADVENTURERS, SUBMITTED FOR THE ENJOYMENT OF THE WRITER’S COMPANIONS AND THE GLORY OF ALLAH

The adventurers found themselves in Bahamut’s temple wondering what precisely they ought to do, and they simply could not resist the allure of a pitch-black tunnel leading to Allah-knows-where. Five feet they crawled, then five more, then five more, until the tunnel seemed to give way to a precipitous drop with only an ooze-covered slide guaranteeing a swift ride downward but no such luck upward.

The fortunate scouts of the party (the small of stature but stout of spirit Loki; the fearsome yet paradoxically humane hammer-wielder, Tromed; and the bestial but beautiful Holly) were conveniently arrayed in size, and they proceeded to slowly lower Loki down the shaft. The halfling’s tremendous weight, however, was too much to handle, and soon the entire party found themselves at the bottom of the 50-foot shaft with nowhere to go but forward.

The party soon arrived upon a fork in the tunnel; they could either move straight ahead or veer to the right. A brief foray into the straight path revealed a large room with a pile of some sort in the middle. Returning to the fork and taking the other path, the adventurers happened upon a room populated by a group of wererats resentfully crushing Kruthick eggs. Though our adventurers might have stealthily dispatched of the wererats (foul beasts that they are!) instead the party relied upon the masterful diplomacy of Tromed and Zylara, who deftly convinced the wererats that their master (some Boar) had been mistreating them and that the party might be able to help them in an uprising.

The wererats were skeptical, but nonetheless the party aided them in a truly shocking number of Kruthick abortions (all but Loki, that is). At the center of this room was one unusually large egg that no one could manage to muster any ill will toward. Indeed, some magick or incantation prevented a single soul (be it wererat, halfling, eladrin, human, elven, dwarven, orcish, dragon-born, werewolf, were-X, half-elf, halfling-elf-mix, halfling-half-elf mix, dwarf-on-orc mix, elf-on-dwarf mix, werewolf on dragon-born mix, or even half halfling, one sixteenth orcish, three sevenths dwarven, and nine more seventeenths halfling) could gather the will to smash the vile mega-Kruthick. The cause was not helped by Holly’s insistence upon taking the egg as her own personal Tomagotchi and securing it in her bag. Plans to eiffel tower table top the werewolf failed.

Soon, however, the eggs began to hatch and a swarm of Kruthicks attacked the adventurers and their new wererat semi-friends. Only Loki was spared from the Kruthick swarms because they could sense that the blood of their fallen (ALIVE) pre-born brethren did not sully his hands. Several rounds of ineffectual fighting on the parts of the adventurers still led to the victory thanks to the heroic wererats. Upon their victory, the adventurers convinced their wererat friends that when they all met Boar, the wererats would stay out of the battle unless it appeared that the adventurers were winning, in which case they would join…presumably on the side of the adventurers. But before going to see this Boar character, the party chose to see to the other room that they had left abandoned.

Encounter Summary
Experience: 210

The pile in the center of that other room turned out to be werebat guana, and the light provided from Quareen’s sun-rod stirred the sleeping werebats and threw them into a rageful frenzy. Loki and Holly leapt from their platforms to grab the werebats’ legs, but their attempts to stab the seedy underbellies failed, sending them plummeting into the mountainous heap of megachiropteran fecal matter. The filth alone infected them with a most vile disease.

Ultimately, some most powerful magicks emanating from the formidable magical implements at Quareen’s disposal left several of the beasts unconscious, easy pickings for damage-dealers Tromed, Holly, Zylara, and Loki. Though Zylara sustained significant damage, she was eventually saved and proved her prowess with a dizzying array of teleportation attacks that sent her careening about the room like a pinball, popping up to attack marked targets who had, foolishly, ignored her challenge. The bats were soon no more.

Encounter Summary
Experience: 150

MAY THE ONE TRUE GOD OF MIDDLE EARTH GUIDE OUR SWORDS.

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Boar no more

After defeating the bats, the adventurers decided it was time to face Boar, the unknown leader of the wererats. They debated taking a rest, but decided that the risk of discovery was too high and they still had sufficient energy to defeat Boar.

The adventuers crawled through another Kruthik tunnel and sent Loki ahead to spy on the large dug-out cavern ahead. The adventurers found themselves looking upon the back of a large throne carved from the corpse of the now-deceased Kruthik Queen. The area immediately in front of the thone was hidden from view, but it was flanked by three large humans and in front of it was a large cage holding the wererats previously befriended by the adventurers.

From what they could hear, a wererat was being interrogated over the missing egg from the Kruthik hatchery. The adventurers decided to attack immediately, so as to keep the benefit of surprise. Loki threw his magical dagger, Domokos fired a bolt of crackling, eldritch energy and Quareen used his Magic Missile to damage the nearest human. Tromed, eschewing the safety of the platform, and deducing that the real threat must be seated in the throne, leaped to the top of the throne and swung his great hammer Mort the Mordenkrad into Boar. The glorious attack inspired him, and all his attacks against Boar were more accurate and powerful. Loki took advantage of the distraction caused by Tromed’s heroic leap to rush to the cage holding the wererats and open it so they could join the fight.

Finally, the enemies were able to overcome their surprise, and launch a counterattack. All of the humans shapeshifted into boars, and engaged the adventuers. Loki was quickly attacked by one of the boars while the other two decided to gang up on Domokos, Quareen and Kqwinn. Awoken by the noise of combat, werebats emerged from the darkness on the south side of the room and attacked KQwinn with their flyby attacks.

Loki, with the assistance of the freed wererats, was able to quickly dispatch his wereboar, but not before being bitten. Loki and the wererats moved to assist Tromed against Boar, who launched vicious attacks everytime he was hit. The wererats distracted Boar with a series of feints, and Loki was able to launch a trick strike. Tromed wound up his hammer and delivered a truly crushing blow to Boar’s chest, shattering his ribcage and pulverizing his internals. Boar fell to the ground dead.

Meanwhile, Domokos, Quareen and Kqwinn focused on killing one of the smaller wereboars. Domokos was wounded grievously and Kqwinn realeased a burst of divine energy to heal Domokos. Domokos escaped the melee by jumping off the platform and continuing to launch his dark, eldrich magic at the werecreatures. With Domokos out of reach, the enemies focused on Quareen, and quickly knocked him unconcious. Domokos killed the weakened wereboar, and Kqwinn revived Quareen. With Boar now dead, Loki and Tromed moved to surround the remaining wereboar and the flitting werebats. The werebats tried to escape the adventurers, but the combined power of Domokos, Kquinn, Loki, Tromed, and Quareen quickly dispatched them.

The adventurers searched Boar’s body for treasure and found two letters, two figurines and a magical amulet. One of them was orders from The Maned One, who instructed Boar to conquer Whitefall and make it a haven for lycanthropes. The other was from a mage named Earl the Red who conducts experiments on Kruthiks. He offers to buy the Kruthik Queen egg from Boar.

Encounter Summary
Experience: 175
Treasure:

  • Amulet of Protection +2
  • Bone Statue of Boar in boar form (225 gp)
  • Bone Statue of a shifting wereboar wielding a maul (225 gp)

Two unexplored tunnels lead off of the room, one to the west and one to the south. The adventurers can hear the sound of water from the western tunnel, which slopes noticeably upwards. The southern tunnel leads off into darkness. The group decides to rest, and leave the choice of tunnel for the following day.

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Down with the Demon

The PCs awake in the lair of deceased Kruthik Queen. The bodies of lycanthropes lie scattered around them, and the wererats huddle in a small group talking rapidly.

Suddenly, from one of the tunnels, comes a boar. The adventurers, fearing that more lycanthropes await, draw their arms and prepare for combat. However, the boar shifts into the form of an elf, and greets the adventurers. Content Not Found: talawen, a druid from a secretive coven, was sent to spy upon the lycanthropes. She was to determine the location of The Maned One, a vengeful shifter, bent on creating a world devoid of non-lycanthropic life. Talawen decides to join the adventurers, hoping that in the future, they will assist her in defeating the Maned One, but content for now to join them in ridding the slums of the evil Berbalang.

The adventurers decide to head into the westward tunnel, which slopes upwards and leads to an underground offshoot of the White River. They decide to plunge into the flow, and successfully escape the caverns, only to find themselves back in the Slums, in the river near Fleet Street. They swim to shore, and decide to move on to fight the Berbalang.

After reentering the Temple of Bahamut, the adventurers encounter Imeem, who has spent the time meditating and praying to Bahamut. He tells the adventurers that they should press on, and he will pray for divine assistance in their fight against the Berbalang.

The adventurers move to the top of the tower and find a belltower. The Berbalang flies from behind the bell and quickly duplicates, leaving the adventurers with multiple enemies to fight. The bell swings back and forth, and makes contact with adventurers and Berbalang alike, dazing them for a short time. Loki, Tromed, Zylarra, Domokos, and Talawen engage the Berbalang, and quickly defeat two of its duplicates. However, the damage dealt by the Berbalang’s cunning attacks begins to add up, and both Zylarra and Tromed lie close to unconciousness. The quick appearance of Quareen and Chaedi gives the group the edge, and the Berbalang is quickly defeated.

The adventurers search the tower for treasure, and find numerous magical items and valuable gems. When they speak with Imeem, he rewards them with some items found in the Temple’s armory. Then, they find Sergeant Jenkins, who leaves the district to report to his superiors that the murderer has been stopped.

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Love's Keen Sting
Into the Halfling Encampment

Blood and hair.

That’s all that was left of my halfling brethren after we had dispatched of a band of hobbit bandits who threatened the caravan we’d been charged to protect. Stout of heart though they may have been, ultimately there was little left to show of their pluck and resilience. Their dishonor and thieving spirits shamed our race and displeased the One True God of Middle Earth. There was no other choice. We had to see justice through. There was no other option.

Blood and hair. There was nothing left.

Well, there was one thing: One remaining hobbit, one sole survivor of our righteous wrath. The oversized members of our party intimidated him into leading us to his camp, and as we neared the site after a beautiful walk through the forest, we noted its organization and development: Large walls and a trench only surmountable by drawbridge kept us from the inside. We quickly decided on a Trojan horse strategy, relying on my deception. Oh, how loathe I am to lie! Oh, what pain it is to use this gift, this curse! Why must I always live in the shadows? Will none ever know the true Loki? Am I condemned to forever live in the halftruths and mistruths that are the currency of my every action?

The bandits were gullible and proved little sport in the deception. They let me in, revealing a camp with a small armory and several halfling thieves playing cards, drinking, and making merry around a campfire. Shortly, I was escorted to meet Thorag, the camp’s leader.

The path to his tent was winding and long, and as I walked it I felt a faint tremor – in the earth? In my heart? – that left me slightly short of words. We stopped for a moment outside his tent.

“This is it,” the guard said.

“Thank you, my brother,” I replied. The tent’s curtain parted and I walked in.

What a specimen he was, a full six inches taller than most hobbits. His muscles spilled out of his form-fitting hide armor, a perfect picture of a leader of halflings. He was strong, he was fierce, he was just. This, this was a hobbit. This was a hobbit of the finest breed, a hobbit of the first order, a hobbit of the utmost strength and stature and heartiness. His eyes glistened with the submerged magnetism and latent power of our race, a snake hidden in the brush, coiled and ready to strike. His feet bristled with the coarse hair of a halfling well acquainted with the woods. The tremor returned, this time in my stomach.

“What is your business here, good sir?”

Must I lie? Must I hide myself? Must I deceive this brother-friend-lover?

“I am Frodo, of the Shire, friend. I have left all that I know in search of fortune and adventure, and I believe I have information that may be of some aid to you.”

His eyes pierced my very soul, like an Elven arrow to the innermost chambers of my heart. Did he know? Had he seen through me?

“Out with it,” he said gruffly. A leader. Straight to the point. Decisive.

“Your posse was ambushed today by a group of heroes traveling with the caravan. They are few in number, and I know their weaknesses. They have continued now but will return in a fortnight. We are safe for some time, but we must prepare ourselves to end them.”

“Hm,” he said. “A lone bandit. Unusual.”

“I am an unusual halfling, friend. I have heard tell of unimaginable treasures—”

“Well then, stranger, imagine them for me!”

Stranger. He called me stranger. Does he truly see me that way? In any case, how does the One True God of Middle Earth feel about this love? Am I doomed to a life of loneliness?

“Dragon eggs, Thorag. Dragon eggs.” Oh, Thorag. How I hate to lie to you. And how I hate to feel this for you. Forgive me, OTGoME. My mind is telling me no, but my body is telling me, “VERILY, YEA!”

This satisfied his curiosity, and he dismissed me, welcoming me to his band of merry thieves. I proceeded to lull his compatriots into a false sense of security, getting them drunk with ale infinitely weaker than the river swill from the Dirty Goblet. After the Swill Agony, normal ale has barely any effect on me. They – and I, though faking it – fell into slumber, the dim embers of our campfire smoldering as the moon rose.

I stirred. All were asleep but one guard on the top of the wall. I stumbled over to him, and as I slyly feigned inebriation, he cried out to me.

“YOU THERE,” he yelled. “WHAT’RE YOU DOING?!”

“Easy, my brother, easy. I simfla hiccup simply want to obserle the might skayyy,” I stammered.

“You want to…what? Observe the night sky?”

I redoubled my efforts to deceive him, each lie stinging as it left my lips. “I just love the moon, my brother. Let me come see the forest from up there. We people of the forest, we love the forest. I love the forest.”

It worked. He reluctantly allowed me up onto the wall. I threw my arm around him and rested my falsely drunk weight on him, sing-songily rejoicing at the beauty of the midnight woods. The poor fool gazed upon the woods, though I looked only at his neck. It was some small mercy: His last sight was the magnificent forest he called home. A beautiful death for any halfling. Soon enough, my hands met the hilt of my enchanted dagger, and steel did what steel does. It was done.

His blood dropped down the wall and pooled in the trench as I flashed my dagger in the moonlight, catching the adventurers’ eyes with the moon’s reflection. They rushed to the drawbridge and lowered it down as I released the lever. But as they crept in to stealthily do away with the rest of the bandits, one sensed our presence and woke up his brethren.

Fortunately, our surprise was not totally ruined, and Quareen’s mighty bursts dispatched several of the bandits with a brutal onslaught of flame, engulfing my NORMAL-SIZED brethren in a sea of cries and fire. After killing some ten hobbits – who focused their attacks on me, feeling betrayed by a fellow halfling – we were confronted by Thorag himself and his two pet Drakes, Fido and Ralph.

“We could have had something, Frodo!” he cried. Frodo. Even in death, he will not know my real name.

Before I could wipe the first tear from my eye, a banshee Amazon warrior cry curdled the blood of all evil-doers, and the mighty Zylara, who had sensed our need, rushed into the encampment. She leapt headlong into the fray, taking damage but bravely engaging the two drakes and their beautiful hobbit master.

Zylara was soon joined by Damakos, whose incredible strength and accuracy led to a massive, record-breaking attack: Some FORTY-SEVEN life units sapped from Ralph in one fell swoop, one crushing blow.

Smart charging and fierce attacks by the terrible Tromed helped make short work of Ralph, and the group converged upon Thorag.

My heart sunk as he fell to the ground. Goodbye, friend. Goodbye.

And as he fell, his domesticated friend Fido gently licked me with some affection. A new friend. You, Fido, you will be my only reminder of this love that never was. You will be my only reminder of this love that probably never should or could have been. I will rename you when I am so moved.

On Thorag’s person (his beautiful, beautiful person) we found a letter from Brad giving information to Thorag about the caravan’s passage. But before returning to town to give this information to Donoran and get our horses, we conferred about what to do with the new real estate we had acquired. We formed the U Street Development Corporation and Real Estate Holdings, a company that will soon develop this tract of land into a profitable business venture for our party. Passive income streams for the win.

Donoran was pleased with our work, and he rewarded the oversized among us with beautiful horses. The Drake Formerly Known As Fido will be my only steed. Though before Donoran let us go, he asked us to “convince” this brad, a rival businessman, to end his trifling with Donoran’s interests. On to the next phase…

Yours faithfully,

Loki X

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